14 May 2008

Evolution in Short

"Now I, for one, think evolution is a bnuch of BULLCRAP. But I've been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: In the beginning we were all fish. OkSwimming ay? around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands... and it had buttsex with a squirrel or something and made this. [points to a rodent] retard frog squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a... monkey fish-frog... And then this monkey fish-frog had buttsex with that monkey, and... that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and... that made you! So there you go! You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys havin' buttsex with a fish-squirrel! Congratulations!" Mrs. Garrison (South park)



12 comments:

  1. lol dumb evolutionists take us for idiots. everyone knows we're the result of incest-sex between the children of a 60-cubit clay-man and a his rib-woman who were poofed into existence by a giant cloud-man and beamed down to Earth coz they stole from a magical tree in his orchard and saw their crotches. the cloud man said so in a poetry book revealed to an illeterate desert merchant years ago. so it must be the truth. and its the the truth coz the cloud man says so. besides peanut butter is proof that Evolutionistarism is a false cult-religion of Satan along with global warming and the dinosaurs. go Mrs. Garrison! btw i think she's the one who's evolved the most in the show. first a homo-hating straight man, then a closeted gay pedophile, then a gay man, then a gay transexual, then a straight woman, then a lesbian, and once again a homo-hating straight man. a rare case of being too gay to complete the circle and become straight.

    dont forget family guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHCTSOpl1CM) and the simpsons (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5X4L-Q9MHCg)take on evolution

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  2. haha.. I love SouthPark...

    so if u have buttsex with a... say a dolphin :P ... then DolphMen would be born.. cool. Evolution Rocks!

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  3. anonymous: lol! they only saw each others crotches after they stole from a magical tree?

    Nass: Dolphins have a butt?? :P

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  4. dont look at me. its how the myth goes. "Then they both ate of the tree, and so their private parts appeared to them, and they began to stick on themselves the leaves from Paradise for their covering" 20:121

    if that isnt believable i dont know what is. surely not the "theory" that says we came from monkeys. thats just gross and stupid. dont listen to biologists and scientists. they're all liars. listen to harun yahya. (in jail at the moment, but will be back in 3 years)

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  5. hehe
    that was fun :P
    for someone who dusnt like evolution at all :P

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  6. and evolution makes sense now
    how interesting :P

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  7. Couldn't evolution be the answer to how and not the answer to why? like Stan asked Ms. Garrision

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  8. yes its a how. so is the clay-man tale. but one should be true. and its not the evil cult called evolution.

    as for the why, nasty evolution is silent on that.

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  9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2d7EAxBzwM

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  10. Here is what Phoebe said to Ross, about Evolution "...Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?"

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  11. lol Phoebe is sooo right. Even the silly scientists admit that their fairytale might be false. But they say that the evidence for their theory surpasses the evidence for any other theory they might have. Are these guys crazy? I mean, Allah's latest bestseller says that we came from a brother-sister sex who came from a clay dick humping a rib. Isnt that enough evidence to crush all these fossils, and geological time, and carbon dating and bacteril resistance, and comparative anatomy, and whatever other poppycock they parade as "evidence" to mere nothingness? the whole of chemistry is based on so-called bonding. but has anyone actually seen a water molecule "bond" with an oxygen atom? and gravity. whats that all about. do you see the earth pulling you? physics should be replaced with psychics i say. its not gravity. Earth just sucks. i say we replace science with religion in our schools so that we turn out New Age blonde-brains like Phoebe and creationist rednecks like Bush. So kids, the lesson is, you dont hafta follow a cult to be beautiful or succesful. Even the most powerful man on the planet doesnt pander to the false religion of Evolutionistarism.

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  12. Point taken anonymous :P .

    It is interesting to observe, the way in which bacterial cells mutate and adapt.

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